Cries Unheard

I remember meeting a girl at my cousin's wedding, back when I was in Primary Four. She was also a cousin of my cousin - from the other side of the family. After the wedding at the church, we went back to my cousin's place for the tea ceremony, where I was introduced to this girl, who was just a year or two older than me. What really scared me at the time (and even up till this day, when I think about it), was that she couldn't stop following me around the house. Wherever I walked, she followed close behind, and eventually cornered me on the second floor of the three storey house, where she proceeded to open her sling bag, whip out three bottles of cream (whatever it was) and urge me to apply it on my arms. Not quite knowing what to do, I quickly said that I needed to go to the toilet, and dashed off to the bathroom where I spent locked up for the next half an hour, trying desperately to calm my nerves. And when I finally did emerge, I spent the rest of the day glued to my mom's side, away from the freaky girl.

Then for a long time, I never met her again, until last year, at my uncle's sixtieth birthday celebration. My siblings and I were happily enjoying our dinner, when the next thing we knew, in swept a long haired Chinese girl, very white and fair, if not for the black eyeshadow and black lipstick that she had on. She was dressed in a flowing black dress, with black boots, all of it topped off with black gloves that stretched up to her elbows. I swear for a brief moment, we thought Morticia Addams had turned up uninvited, or perhaps it the Corpse Bride's long lost sister.

But then I realised it was her.

A few days ago, I learnt from mom, who had been told by my aunt, that this girl had recently been found to be suffering from the little known Asperger Syndrome. Basically, sufferers of this syndrome have been described as having "a dash of autism", and while they may have perfectly normal IQs and usually even exhibit exceptional talent in a specific area, they show marked deficiency in social skills and have difficulties with transitions and changes. Also, they often have obsessive routines and may be fixated on one particular subject or object of interest. To quote a website explaining this queer illness, they may be "bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see", and while they are "often viewed as eccentric or odd", these are because of "neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behaviour". (Google 'Asperger Syndrome' for more information)

No doubt all these symptoms are reflected by this girl, who, I forgot to mention, is also an extremely gifted artist. So I guess the fact that she was suffering from this form of mental disorder didn't really shock me much, since I'd always suspected she wasn't quite normal.

What stunned me though, was that apparently, her parents refuse to acknowledge that she has Asperger Syndrome, and are quite adamantly in denial about it, not sending her for treatment, and taking her to be perfectly fine. How then is this girl ever going to get better? Simply because of her parents' inability to accept the truth, or maybe even because they don't want to accept it, be it for loss of face or other reasons, she will forever be viewed by this world as "eccentric" and "odd". How is this fair? It's not that she doesn't want to be normal, but in this case, she can't. As parents, wouldn't you want the best for your child? Why deny her a beautiful life ahead because of reasons untold?

I have no idea what's going to become of this girl, but I sincerely hope that her parents will realise soon enough that they have to help her, because if they don't, no one else can.

Closer to home, is a younger boy cousin of mine, my dad's sister's son. Since he was small, we'd always suspected that he was mildly autistic, or maybe suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder, because of the way he behaves. Countless times my dad and grandmother have tried bringing this up to my aunt, but she remains in denial, and refuses to seek professional advice. What's more, she and my uncle push the poor boy to study, study and study some more, perhaps in a bid to make up for what they feel is his stupidity. He's only in Primary Five, but he sometimes tells my grandmother of how he had to stay up till one, two am the night before, doing work and preparing for exams. In addition, it's pretty obvious that his parents shower more affection on his normal younger sister, which really makes me feel so sad for him.

I wish I could help, but how can I, if even his parents refuse to acknowledge the possible abnormality of their son?

To all the parents of the world who are turning away from their child's needs because of whatever reason, I pray that they will wake up soon and give their children the love, care and attention that they so desperately need.