Male-o-Phobia

That's it. Talking about this with Lorraine, Jean and Shan during yesterday's run, I'm now unable to get it out of my mind. I'll confess it here - I have a phobia. It's a HUGE phobia, of none other than the opposite sex, in my case, males. No, it's got nothing at all to do with sexual orientation, because while I fear men, I do not love women. Nope, it's just that males freak me out. Men. Boys. Guys. Almost any human being that possesses a Y chromosome scares me. Big men. Small men. Tall men. Short men. Fat men. Thin men. Regardless of race, language or religion, I'm scared of them all, the only exception being males I've known all my life, i.e. those that are related to me, like my grandfathers, uncles, dad and brother (come on, it'd be just plain weird if I was afraid of my brother). And while I'm still surviving now in a mostly female school environment, I've realised that my great fear of males is going to kill me when I get to JC next year, simply because JCs are co-ed (oh, the horror).

Perhaps the only reason I can think of for this unexplained phenomenon, is that I've been in a single sex school for the past ten years of my not very long life, meaning that my level of interaction with males has been more or less reduced to a number very close to zero.

I remember having a drink with Bev and Meiyi in the canteen after Teachers' Day celebrations, and we were talking about potential JC/Polytechnic choices for next year, when I revealed just how much I was dreading going to JC. Their first thought was oh, is it because of different subjects, or level of difficulty, or missing SC? Well, yup, these are all definitely contributing factors, but when I revealed the REAL reason behind it all (the men - boys, rather), their jaws dropped. I've a sneaky feeling that Bev thought I was joking initially, when with a hint of amusement in her voice, she proceeded to ask whether I was really scared of all men. When I nodded, she then ventured, "You mean, even like, Mister Ang?" Yes, even like, Mister Ang. I mean, it's not that I scream and run away whenever I see him (hello, we had PE lessons under him for a whole year, so that wouldn't quite be possible), but it's just...I don't know, weirder than being around...Mrs Tan MT! Who could ever have a fear of Mrs Tan? Haha.

Now, it's actually not as though I've been kept hidden away in my own little world, away from the sight of all men for my entire life (Olivia from Twelfth Night couldn't even last seven years, you think anyone'd survive sixteen?), considering how I do go to church every week (sadly, it's not an all girls' church) and have had to mix with the boys.

Here's the weird part: each service in my church isn't exactly large, so the boys in my class this year, are essentially the same boys that were in my NURSERY Sunday School class (except that now there's been a sudden influx of them, especially during the last year - don't know why), but I'm very sure that in the past four years alone, I haven't said more than two sentences to each guy, and I don't even know the names of some of them (yes, I sound kinda loser-ish, I know). Well, there was one time back in Primary Two, when my class was made to play Dog And Bone, boys versus girls, and when my number was called, I ran to the centre where the 'bone' was, only to have the boy with the corresponding number dash up and punch me in the stomach, grab the bone and run back to safety. But somehow, I highly doubt that's cast a shadow on my childhood and made me fearful of all men in general, though it has caused me to develop an averse reaction to any mention of 'Dog And Bone'.

So you see, I feel stranger around males than when I'm with females. Sitting beside Shan in school, for example, we're talking practically the whole day long, cracking the most inane jokes and laughing about the most ridiculous things (half the time we're making up our own stories, I believe). Next year, put me beside a male in the classroom, and I'll shut up. But that's a horrible thought, because imagine how suffocated I'm going to feel at the end of the day, not having uttered a single word for the past six plus hours?? Oof. I'm dreading next year even more now.

I sincerely believe that this morbid fear of members of the male species can't possibly be very healthy for a growing girl. I need a cure. You think maybe antibiotics might help? Or cought mixture? Or panadol? Or strepsils? Or denzen?

Oh no.

Help.