As Little Children

Standing outside the main doors of the college this evening, safely sheltered from the torrential rain, I patiently awaited Dad's arrival. Having spent a whole day in school, plus having just completed voice auditions for Drama, I was pretty pooped. So there I was, standing against a white pillar, a stark contrast all clothed in black, with nothing to do, and Dad stuck in a horrid jam on the way to get me. Just then, a car pulled up alongside me, and out hopped a mother and her young daughter.

Initially, I wasn't paying much attention to them. My thoughts were more focused on rather random, unrelated issues - I was thinking back to Orientation, I was thinking about yesterday's Dance auditions, I was thinking about the voice auditions I'd just (shall I say) endured, I was thinking about SC and old friends, I was thinking about the upcoming SC Prefects' Invest and what it'd be like... ...Cliched as it may sound though, the pitter patter of little feet (gosh, I nearly sound like a new mother or something, and - okay, wait. Erase. Freakish. Thoughts.) soon broke my train of thought. I looked up to see the little girl dressed in what looked like pyjamas, trailing behind her mother, hurrying to catch up as she clutched her Mom's hand hard.

Strange as it may sound, it was the girl's pyjama pants that sparked off some weird emotions in me; happy, sad, then happy again - it was so so so SO queer, you know, these feelings that start rising up in you when you begin to reminisce, which, I realised, was precisely what was happening to me. Her pants were white with a red and navy blue stripe on either side, with misdrawn, miscoloured cartoon characters (pokemons, perhaps?) in an adorable (adorable, yes, but only when worn by three year old kids) line up. And that was just TOO familiar - I wore the same pants as a child.

Memories of childhood... ...so inexplicably beautiful they are.

Seeing this sweet kid and her mother heading off in the direction of the void deck succeeded perfectly in throwing up old scenes of me back before I even knew what 'school' was - the family, Dad, Mom, Mike, Nikki. In particular, I recall those fun walks we used to take back at the old house, around our neighbourhood, running around in the field opposite, playing, laughing, shouting... ...Back in the days of innocence, intending for nothing else but just to have some pure, unadulterated fun. I miss those days. I miss being small. I miss being a kid.

Thinking about it now though, as I sit here in front of the computer screen, some things really haven't changed. Crossing the road these days, I sometimes still instinctively reach for Mom's hand. We still go out together as a family, go swimming, go for nice, long, after-dinner walks. I still bounce around at home and sing completely inane songs to amuse my sister (which reminds me that my latest is the imagined theme song from my equally imagined reality TV series, "Search For The Mee Pok Man", inspired by none other than the late Mee Pok Man himself - one fine day, on TV, you'll see - hah!). We still sit around at meals, talking and laughing, sharing about our day.

I guess as a small kid, things were different, simply because I was young, compared to a (slightly) more mature me these days. But the family, the love, the joy, it's still the same.

And may it always be.

AMEN.