Wake Up

Attending a friend’s father’s wake tonight was a brutal wake up call to the harsh realities of life – how one’s illness can change the lives of so many others; how death can, in a split second, upset so many lives, so many people.

Tonight, as I watched how my friend took in the reality of her dad’s passing, I realized how unpredictable life and death can be. Every second, somewhere in this world, new lives are being brought into the world, as others are being taken away. It’s funny how in those few moments – listening to the pastor speak, walking past the coffin, shaking hands with the family members, hugging my friend tight – the times I’ve snapped at my dad, glared at my mom, yelled at my brother, ignored my sister all suddenly came tumbling down on me, presenting themselves as something I then knew I would regret when the time comes for them to leave, or for me to leave, whichever comes first. It’s ironic how at the point when I’m being rude to them, I keep thinking I’m right, but then being made to look back, I realize just how wrong I was, and then the pangs of guilt keep rapping against the door of my heart…like just now.

During the service tonight, I caught sight of another friend, whose dad’s funeral I had attended at the end of last year. He had taken his own life. I could feel in the way she looked on at the wake, how her eyes were red and filled with tears, that it was reminding her of her own sad experience.

Being surrounded by these friends has really been for me, a jolt back into the real world. Here I am worrying about Prelim exam results, whether I’m going to do well, how many points I’ll get, whether I can get into a JC of my choice, and there’s my friend, just having completed her Prelims not too long ago either, taking her O levels at the same time as me, but more than worry about these – now to me, actually rather unimportant – things, she’s having to cope with the demise of a loved one, as the eldest child, with a responsibility to take care of her younger siblings and be a pillar of strength and support for her crying mother…Why am I even getting all upset over unsatisfactory results and being stressed to study, study, study? Not that it’d be right to throw all these cares to the wind, of course, but stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, it’s really all about priorities and the level of importance certain things take in our lives. If I knew that maybe tomorrow, I’d lose a loved one to death, I highly doubt that studying and grades would be weighing so much on my mind now. But that’s just it – how would I know when I’m going to lose someone dear?

But while tonight was certainly a wake up call in that sense, it was also a reminder for me, that death is but being called home to be with the Lord, and truly, it’s a much better place over there.

For now, let’s appreciate and treasure all those who we still have around us, and let's not forget to tell them that we love them.