It's An Art

I've been thinking lately, that I could, and probably should make a career out of making fun of people. I mean, making fun of not in a bad way of course, though I highly doubt there's anything really good in my mocking of people, except in the potential forming of abs through incessant laughing. Oh and at the rate at which I've been downing waffles with maple syrup and gelato, gelato cakes, gelato in cups, gelato in cones (see the downside to having a mother and aunt who own a geletaria?), those are some abs I badly need. While I'm on this, might as well declare my new resolve: I will from now on turn up for all running dates with Lorraine Loh and the rest of the MacRitchie gang, plus do warm ups and pumping during Arabian Nights rehearsals with such conviction, that the general population will bow down to me, kiss my feet, and paste a poster of me with my newly acquired six pack on their room ceiling and walls for motivation. Yes.

Anyway, back to my potential occupation.

One permanent victim of my verbal abuse, is none other than my younger sister, Nicole. Something which my mother always scolds me for, except that she herself then proceeds to make fun of her, which often results in distressed animal in pain like noises from the poor child.

This morning, for example, I woke up and was lying in bed, with my sister positioned between my mom and I. She decided - being quite adept at physically abusing me - to whack her arm down on my stomach, as a morning greeting. To which I responded by telling her that her arm is like a club. That brought on some laughs from my mother, a yell from my sister, and another stomach whack. Which only led me to continue on, as I muttered how her arm is indeed like a club...being as big as a country club. You see, it's the jibes about her weight that always get to my sister. Well, my mother found it quite amusing, since she proceeded to snort in a rather undignified manner, and this made my sister whimper something about hating me, but not before attempting to strangle me with her club like arm.

The incident served to remind me of a similar one that took in place in Phuket, where we went for a family holiday in June, earlier this year. There was one fine day, when being a little bored, my brother and I decided to devote an entire afternoon to making fun of my sister. The ultimate was when we went on a roll, casting her in every fairytale/disney cartoon we could think of, for example, as the pumpkin in Cinderella, and the hunch in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Somehow I don't think she ever quite forgave us for that.

But then my mother makes the situation worse. Like I said, after these 'make fun of Nicole' sessions end, she always chides me for mocking my sister, saying stuff about how I'm going to be so sorry next time because if she ever becomes anorexic, it'll be all my fault (a valid argument actually). Ah. BUT. She does her fair share of the making fun of too, such as telling my aunt how my sister eats so much seafood tofu that she's beginning to look like one. Hah!

Well. Aside from my sister, there have been and continue to be many other victims of my - as the average Singaporean would say - suaning tendencies. And with my recent promotional examination and overall JC1 grades, I am now seriously and strongly considering this to be my life's calling.

Quite sad, but...at least I know I'll enjoy my job.