Nostalgia Strikes Back

It's only when I realised how seeing certain people, hearing their voices, visiting particular places started bringing back a torrent of memories and emotions, happiness and sadness all at once, that I discovered a bad case of nostalgia on my part.

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Meeting up with a bunch of SC girls for dinner on Sunday was one of the best things I've done in a long while. Sitting down, eating and talking (the three things we do best) with Lorraine, Fuzzeh, Shan, Su Yin, Jessica and Michelle (notice stupid OP missing from the namelist; she who conveniently forgot about our meeting. This is where we start stoning her with rotten eggs, tomatoes, bricks and penknives - yes, intention to kill), was wonderfully therapeutic, a great relief and break from hectic JC life and the problems it has brought with it. Our topics ranged from term exams (Shan desperately trying to break up a very intellectual discussion that Lorraine and Fuzzeh were sharing on the Cold War) , to the invasion of the male population into all our lives (dispelling the myth that all SC girls are pretty - haha, just take a look at us and you'll know what I mean), CSI (I cannot believe the number of episodes I have been missing) and Disney (some strange debate about whether or not Tarzan is hot - dont ask), to the most inane things like Fuzzeh relating some story to us that had to do with a Hokkien cheer being taught to a group of old Ah Mas at a family day CIP event. Haha! That night brought back so many memories of our days back in SC. Conversations that we shared over one dinner - imagine, they used to be an everyday thing before assembly, during recess and on bus rides home. Our recess canteen table gang (I miss everyone and anyone who ever sat at that table!), SC Drama meetings (more like the talking and sick, perverse things we did before and after), laughing with Shan during all our lessons (especially AMath and EMath which really got Mrs Tan and Mrs Lee quite irritated sometimes), nodding off during History and Social Studies (post recess lessons were always a torture - wasn't my fault), drawing prawns that didn't quite look like anything really during Biology practicals (and having Mister Johari question my art abilities), OP fainting during flag raising, those - okay wait. Fine. So maybe the OP thing shouldn't quite be classified under fond memories. But you get the idea. Every time we meet up as a gang now, I thank God for letting me find this amazing group of friends. And though these opportunities to see them become less and less, with JC more or less taking over my entire life (CCAs and the whole deal), rather than pulling us further apart, I think it may just draw me closer to them. Because it's precisely due to the fact that I'm spending less time with my SC cronies now, that I'm going to be holding on tighter to the friendships I forged back in secondary school. Man, I miss SC so much it's almost unbelievable.

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Today, picking up a call from an unknown number, I said 'hello' into the phone. The person on the other line said 'hi' back, said my name. Familiar voice, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Until in helping me make a guess, she said that she had slapped me in our secondary four year. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets, I'm certain, and I screamed. Yes. Out loud. So the entire neighbourhood could hear. JOAN TAY! Or John, as I like to call her. That reference to her slapping me back in secondary four, during our 4GY Dramafest play was a dead giveaway. When it struck me who I was talking to, I nearly cried. Talk about getting emotional. But hey, can't blame me. My favourite class rep (only next to you of course, Lorraine), my evil female dog (must. not. use. vulgarities.) during Dramafest, my fellow Ah Beng on Be Yourself Day, my boyfriend during Chinese Talentime, MY JOHN TAY, finally back after leaving to study abroad after the O's last year. It was only in talking to her today that I realised how much I actually miss her. And that conversation just served to load me with memory after memory of 4GY and all my favourite SC friends and teachers. Which did nothing to help the tears, though in forcing myself not to cry (because that would be rather silly, I guess), I managed to cap it at tearing. Thank goodness. And thankfully she called, because imagine if not knowing she was back in Singapore, I met her on the streets. I'd probably break into wild hysterics and have to be warded immediately at the Institute of Mental Health. Which really wouldn't be very good for my record.

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Revisiting that familiar place. Boy did it bring back memories. I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I first realised I'd be stepping back in there, but when even walking past it has got me turning back to look, has gotten me recalling the events of that day...I should've known. It seems like an eternity, but I guess it hasn't really been that long after all, now that I think about it. Quite amazing, how I remember nearly everything about that day. All the details. What was said and done, the conversations, the smiles, the laughter, the feelings, the minutes, the numbers, the colours, the mood...it's funny, how no matter how badly I want to forget, I can't. It doesn't help that everyday now is a constant reminder of what it used to be. I really could do without it, but everything happens for a reason, so maybe, just maybe, all this has some sort of purpose. ...You think? I don't know. Perhaps I'm making this all more complicated than it actually is. But I can't stop myself. Surrounded. By the memories.

Love, look away.