Here We Go Again

It's crazy, but reading my last blog post, I can still remember myself sitting right where I am now and typing it...a whole year ago. It's crazy, but reading my last blog post, I can see myself as I was back then, and I look at myself now and how I've changed...a whole year later. It's crazy what a year can do, how one year of three hundred and sixty five days can change YOU. Your outlook, views, opinions, thoughts, feelings, stand, character and personality even, and yet still keep you...well, pretty much unchanged. I guess in some sense, it seems to me as though my life has undergone a total revamp, but absolutely for the best. Rather than losing anything at all, I've gained. Found God, found family, found friends, found me. And honestly? Things couldn't be more awesome. I mean, sure, they could be if I was a three year old kid doing nothing but sitting in front of the television all day, watching disney movies and eating chocolate biscuits in blissful ignorance of my surroundings but...that'd be kind of hard at eighteen (yes, finally!), when there are these things called responsibilities to bear and choices to make, and most importantly, a life to live. Though, er, all that hasn't stopped me from indulging in a gazillion hong kong drama serials since official freedom came a knocking, of course. Haha!

Well, 2008 was (must get used to past tense in reference to 2008) in a word? Eventful. In two words? Insanely eventful. In three words? My post A levels brain fails to think. But yes, you get the idea. The year has just been one thing after another, with academics, drama, dance and so much on the personal front, such that from previously being almost unable to breathe, it feels now like there's an excess of oxygen around me. Don't get me wrong though, because I enjoyed it all; managed to catch everything that 2008 had to throw at me, and I think, at the end of the day, I handled it all pretty well, with thankfully, assurance and love from God, support from family and help from friends.

With the many happenings over the past two years, especially 2008, the one huge set of memories that even old age and dementia will fail to wipe from me is all the awesomeness of my ACSian Theatre experience. I can safely say that as a JC student, more than school work, tests, exams and grades, it was drama, rehearsals and performances that I invested the most of me in. Perhaps sacrificing some things along the way, but I have absolutely no regrets. At all. Still remember stepping with trepidation into West Side Story dance rehearsals in the beginning of my JC one year, being a calefare on the sidelines, appearing onstage for only two dances and the finale. And then from there, how things just got better and better. In these two years, I've discovered the real essence of theatre, the magic and beauty of it all, and my love for the stage. Okay, well, yes, some might say it's love of attention, fame and recognition and all that nonsense, but no. In all honesty, what I love most about theatre is how being in a role allows you to take on another personality, to be someone else, a someone who is...at the end of the day, really and truly essentially you. That might sound rather schizophrenic and contradictory but...it's true. With every role I've played, I've always managed to find something in a character that resonates with me. Sometimes little bits, sometimes huge, but in every role, I've found...me. Sometimes I look at a character and I think, but for this or that, that would so have been me, and that's what really gets to me and gets me so involved. Take Pride and Prejudice last year, for example. That was probably my best production experience. From dancing (there wasn't one dance I didn't enjoy doing) to acting (the funniest moments and the saddest scenes), it was a total blast. Elizabeth was a role which sort of scared me at first, because I mean, it's one of those names (THE Elizabeth Bennet) that makes you go...whoa. But in exploring and discovering her, I recognised a great deal of myself, many of the negative qualities (let's not go into that, yes?) and more that made me really excited to play her. And I wasn't let down, getting the share the stage with a great many talented individuals, being supported in every way possible by awesome backstage and technical crew members, all the lovely wardrobe friends and the celebrated ticketing team. My last big production was the best for me in so many ways, and I really enjoyed the process. The one sad fact? That I haven't yet found myself a real life Darcy. Oh well.

Hmm. Like I've said, it's been a whole year, and truly so many things have struck me, left an impression, taught me. Reading again the start of this long overdue blog post, it's quite obvious I was setting things up for this momentuous 2008 summary with all my little nuggets of wisdom and insights to share, and I was, really, but now...lemon-lime jell-o and Without a Trace are offering a tempting distraction so I guess wisdom and insights will have to wait. Hopefully this means more regular posts and less year by year summaries, yup? Haha, I can only say. We'll see.