Identity Crisis

I'm sure we've all at one time or another, received a call or sms that was meant for someone else, and have also made calls and sent smses to the wrong people ourselves.

I know I have. There was the time I sent this lengthy message to Rhea to enquire about something, even dotting it with a couple of smileys to make it seem more, er, happy, only to receive a curt reply - "This is not rhea." Like, ooookay, wasn't as though I had intended on sending that person the wrong message. Least he could've done was to compensate me with one small smiley for the many I bestowed on him. Hmph.

Well, I'll also never forget the time my mom received an sms in Chinese, and since my mom and Chinese weren't quite meant to be (if you get the idea), it was rather strange. Translating the message had my siblings and I laughing till we were in tears - a self-deprecating boyfriend was requesting a break up with his girlfriend (over sms, no less. What's the world coming to?), using all the usual cliches about how she wasn't to blame, and it was all his fault, and he was sorry, but something had changed between them...the works. I believe the entire message was about four smses long, littered with 'dui bu qi's and what have you. Anyway, I'm sure he realised it had been a wasted attempt when he received my mother's reply in the English language - "I'm sorry, but you've sent your message to the wrong number." Poor chap.

As for Chinese and I, while fated in a small way, we aren't exactly the best of friends, so when I received an sms in the Chinese language yesterday afternoon, I merely glossed through it, only to discover belatedly, that it was one of them evil forwarded, chain type messages. Translated directly, word for word, it read:

This year Mid-Autumn Festival smoke a lot,
Appreciating moon feelings very low,
Close window close door switch on fan,
Mooncakes taste good still.
(Remember must drink more water).

Hmm, wow. Sounds rather poetic, huh? Never used to think I was so effectively bilingual. Anyhow, realising that this seemingly endearing message, in Chinese on top of that, was from a foreign number, had me quite puzzled. Which semi-stranger would send such a thing to me? So naturally, I replied, asking who it was.

"Someone called your young junior" was part of the stranger's reply. Ah, young junior. Welll, I thought, since I have all the Secondary Two to Four Drama members' numbers in my phonebook, this would either have to be a junior who hadn't informed me earlier of a change in phone number, OR - a scary thought struck me then - a Secondary One junior who'd stalked me and somehow decided that the Mid-Autumn Festival would be a wonderful time to spring her first surprise sms on me.

After probing into which junior exactly, was she (and asking how her exams were, only because she had asked how my prelims were), the next reply brought about an amazing revelation:

"I don't have exams until next year, melissa ma'am. and i am your RED CROSS JUNIOR. :-)"

Right, of course! A Red Cross junior!

But wait.

I, for one, don't ever recall being a member of the SC Red Cross unit, neither do I have any memory of having the name 'Melissa'. Which in other words, would have to mean...this sweet little Red Cross girl was sending smses to the wrong person.

Feeling sorry for her, and wanting to clear up the misunderstanding, I replied, telling her she'd sent her message to the wrong number. Thinking I'd soon receive a sheepish apology, I waited. To my amusement however, she told me to "stop faking it". AND she called me Melissa. Again.

To get her to believe me, I sent a message telling her that I was in SCGS, in the Drama Society, and NOT in Red Cross, only to get another "Stop it, melissa. Haha. i get it."

"Get it"? Get what?? Quite honestly, by this time, I really couldn't accept that this girl just simply refused to believe that I wasn't her senior, Melissa.

Now, my brother was telling me to just quit replying, but I felt bad for this young Red Cross member, because she actually needed to pass a message to her senior regarding a Red Cross meeting. Obviously though, this senior wasn't going to get it (though it seemed the young junior was fervent in her belief that she had successfully sent the message through). Thus came a desperate reply on my part, telling her I was Lesley, NOT Melissa, and that I was in Drama, NOT Red Cross, and that I was in SCGS, NOT whatever school she's from. But to my sheer horror,

"Stop it, melissa. you know very well who i am. haha. stop faking you are from scgs. and your name is not lesley. i think the studying has driven you crazy... XP"

I. Think. I. Stopped. Breathing. And. My. Eyeballs. Popped. Out. Of. Their. Sockets. There. And. Then.

How could anyone be so daft??? I mean, seriously, would any senior, no matter how wacky or insane, especially laden with tons of studying to do for the O's, waste her time in trying to trick her small gullible junior (oh no, not this young one) into believing that she wasn't who the junior thought she was? It'd be a complete waste of smses on top of that! (Yes, and I'm a silly dork who bothers sending SIX messages to this girl I don't even know).

Fed up with the girl, not wanting to spend all my free smses on her, and also all my time in convincing her of my actual identity, this was my final reply (no longer trying to sound friendly):

"Whether or not you choose to believe me, i'm not melissa. I'm in scgs, sec4 generosity, drama society, prefectorial board. I'm really very sorry, but melissa is not going to get the message regarding the red cross meeting. Yes. Maybe you could try telling her personally instead."

My phone didn't vibrate anymore after that - I think I successfully scared her off. FINALLY.

Geez, what a pesky junior.

Ha! Luckily she's not mine.